High Crime in Low Places

     We've had a theft here at the Ramsay house.  I mean, strictly speaking, theft is taking something that does not belong to you, and since Aila doesn't deposit things in the toilet, she took what wasn't hers.  But I digress. 
     I had planned to write on here this evening, and had a couple funny, cute things of note.  I even had a title planned, "Insanity".  All that's gone, because I can't even remember it now.  Perhaps I should start at the beginning. 
     Scott went to prison tonight for Bible study, leaving me to fend for myself.  I was making cookies and cleaning up the supper while the kids were generally trashing the living room, and having a good time doing it, too.  I had asked Caelin to get Aila while I got a tray of cookies out of the oven, and he had taken her out of the kitchen.  (That's me, super safety mom!)    Good, right?   Well....a couple minutes later, he yells, "Mom, Aila has poop all over her!"  Pardon?  I go look, and sure enough, there is brown on her one hip, like her diaper has been blown off and is leaking.  "Quick!" I cry, "Set her in the bathtub!"  Containment being the best policy in such circumstances.  Upon closer inspection, there is suspicious brown stuff on her hands and knees, as well.  We head for the bathroom, when what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a trail of brown smears commencing at the toilet's edge!  "Aaaah!"  The horror of what has occurred washes over me. "Sick, oh sickness!" I cry.  Tragically, Levi had not flushed after finishing his business, nor closed the lid. "Did you leave a nugget on the floor?" I ask.  "No! I think she got it out herself!" he accuses.  Following is a second wave of the comedic value in the situation.  I am  now laughing, and yelling about how this is the reason we flush, and would someone, PLEASE, get the Clorox wipes! 
    Aila is stripped, post haste, and soon soaking in warm water and baby wash.  I am scrubbing away on the floor, relating the story to Joni, who is shocked and appalled, because, of course, her mannerly offspring would never dream of doing anything so disgusting.  Just then, the smoke alarm goes off.  Good grief, the cookies!!!  There's a tray still in the oven!  Caelin runs to remove them, but hollers, "They're burned black!"  I'd imagine so.  I am now pretty much hysterically laughing.  Joni says, "I mean with this with all the love in the world, but you are in over your head!"   Ya think? 

SHE MIGHT BE CUTE, BUT SHE'S YUCKY